Today a school assignment o' mine was to write at least ten questions that I would ask immigrants to 'keep America safe' if I were working at the immigrant center-thingy on Ellis Island.
*Pulls off an evil grin*
Boy, this oughta be fun...
*Clears throat*
1. How often do you floss?
2. When was the last time that you chose to buy a used vacuum off of E-bay?
3. Have you ever owned an upright refrigerator?
4. Here in America, we do our best to keep our citizens safe and knowledgeable of any hazards. Do you realize the risk of spitting on public sidewalks while wearing sunglasses?
5. Have you received proper cadet training in the occupational fast-food business?
6. Are you a dieter?
7. Have you ever been diagnosed with of suffered any diseases in the following list: Procrastination, Potato-chip addictionism, or Social Network Craving Failure (SNCF)? If so, you may proceed without further questioning.
8. Have you ever experienced a life threatening situation? i. e., Fire, Flood, Earthquake, Limited or no WI-FI, etc.
9. Have you ever sponsored or participated in any act or organization to promote the sales of Snuggie®'s?
10. If a train was headed for a national spaceport full of dynamite and flammable frozen Lima beans at 362.47 Kilometers Per Hour, and the distance between the train and spaceport was 4,571 miles, with a steady uphill incline of 43° for the last 2,198 fathoms, what color would you paint the caboose?I could write more, but my mind & fingers aren't cordinated tonight.
And yes, I can already see you reaching for those gushy tomatoes (that make oh so wonderful missiles).
If your looking for me, I'll be hiding behind the couch with a funny look on my face.
-Plink.
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