Whee. Every ticking second brings me closer to the day when I grow up and find out that real life doesn't give me a week to enjoy the changing of seasons. Not that there are actually season changes to celebrate. This city is kinda flukey like that.
Sometimes I look at my blog and it makes me want to slap myself. However, I somehow manage to restrain myself from completely obliterating my archives. Part of me is embarrassed by my past self, part of me knows my present self will eventually embarrass my future self, and another part of me just doesn't care enough.
I can't tell you how many times I've thought: when I get really good at blogging and become some sort of mature writerly person---THAT'S when I'll make a serious site and become blogger extraordinaire. The irony is that when you write your work can *always* stand improvement. I'll never be the best I can possibly get to be. Instead I'll forever be learning how to be better. And that peeves me.
Oiy with my internal monologue.
Have you noticed how serious and lifey my recent posts have been? I guess I don't have much to share with you besides random midnight thoughts.
Like me anyway.
I was chillin' with some sprightly young youth today (babysitting, I guess is what it's called), and one of them told me all about her future plans. My head began to swam when I realized that this fifth grader possessed perfectly forethought as to what she might do when she grows up. Sure, her ideas will change and reality might throw her a few curve balls...but still, it made me feel especially (1) old, and (2) indecisive.
That's nice.
But it's all good. Sometimes I'm pretty dang skilled at pretending to know what I'm doing when I seriously have no idea what's going on. I spend about 87% of my life pretending that.
It's weird because I'm one of those people who settles into routine. Once you tell me to switch stuff up, I suddenly turn into a dysfunction writhing muddle of imbecileness until I acquire enough time to catch a new groove. This probably sounds funny to you because I just wrote about learning how change is good for us.
Yay. I've become a walking contradiction.
And now I'm a sleepy walking contradiction.
Goodnight.
