Asleep and Unassuming

Her eyelashes flutter 
As she sleeps, far from restless, in the grass
Alone, but hardly lonely
A lack of color in her face
A lack of pain in the complexion
The picture of peace
The picture of contentment
Asleep, unawares
But still to be woken
Still to be burned
Still to be imperfect, one among many
But for now
In the grass
On her own
She is at rest.

Thumbs Up

Another doodle project. I still needa buy me a stylus and tablet. Right now I'm still doing digital drawings with just a laptop mousepad thingy. Also need to learn how to set up my printer/scanner.
humph.

I wish I could rap. Or just sing really fast without getting all tongue tied. I'm listening to Twenty One Pilots right now and I'm jealous of all the epic talent.
Grr.
Anyone else find it highly amusing that Ed Sheeran got to write a song for the credits of the new Hobbit movie? Heheh. That was sumthin'.
---the song...not the movie. The movie itself was something else altogether that I don't want to dive into yet. Catching Fire was good too. In fact, it was better. I really can't see how anyone who liked the book could dislike the movie. And that's not something I say very much.
As I'm sure you've already heard e explain, I like to watch the movie before reading the book. It helps me visualize and be able to enjoy both. But in the case of Catching Fire, that didn't exactly happen. I was a little nervous because this book became a fast favorite and I knew what I was expecting and wanted to see in the film adaption of it.
And it was BEEEEAAUUUUUTIFULLLLLLLLLL... *skips of into the sunset singing*

I couldn't help by roll my eyes a teensy weensy bit when the (oldish) ladies sitting next to me sighed at the end and whined: "Woww, waita leave it open for a sequel!"

-_-  

wut.

YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE BOOK(S).
^^was the first thing that entered my head. Which is weird because I'm not usually "that person" who accuses others of not being hardcore enough. But I became that person! And so I was just sitting there listening to Coldplay sing their new song and watching the credits roll by thinking:

I guess I'm officially and publicly hardcore now.
I've also officially and publicly announced the fact that I am a Dark Night Trilogy hardcore-ist.

aaaaaAAAAAaahhHHHhhhHHHHHHHhhhHHhhhh.

Such great story progression! And this isn't a car! And death by exile! And Alfred! And officer Blake! Adsjfdkslsfd!

So yeah guys. Batman. Two thumbs up.

K-Minty

Aimless Oddities

It's January and I've hardly given you a proper hello. I don't know if anything I say tonight will make sense, but I'll give it a shot anyway. New Year's greetings aside, there is plenty to blog down, and a great lackage of will to do so. I am a very wordy person, and I often wonder if I lose my readers in my lopsided direction of thought. When it comes to communication, getting from point "A" to point "B" is hard for a singularly complicated person such as myself. But I like to write to you. Writing is something I doubt I shall ever give up, though I may avoid it to some extension.

There is something very familiar and comforting about the way the keys feel beneath my fingers, and I revel in familiar things.
You see, a lot has happened, and a lot will happen still. Most of which I only care to hint at and do not care to elaborate upon. But I've been doing a bit of reflecting and I've decided that there is an surprising amount of meaningfulness to be found in our lives as well as the lives of others. Over the past month or so I've drawn many half sided and hardly baked connections and realized just how cleaver God is.
Oh God is so good. The real God. The Everlasting God. The God who gives and takes away, never ceases, and overpowers all else. The God who I believe in.

___

I used to write more often. I used to talk about the way things made me feel, but I know that I'm being watched and overhead, so I made up words and coined my own phrases. I guess I still do, but I just pretend like I don't know what I"m doing and since nobody else does, none of them realize. I am clueless. But it's not a bad kind of clueless. Just a funny kind. The way it's funny how some people enjoy being surprised, and others loathe it. I don't know why I think about these kinds of things, but I do. It's...y'know..."the way I are and the you is". So I'll keep thinking this way, especially as I sleepwalk into the land of life as we know it. 
 ___

Joy comes from God. I don't know why exactly, but I have always been an incredibly joyful child. Somehow I find it easy to laugh and I never learned how to lie about the falsity of my smile. My smile is real, and so is the peace I've found in knowing that God knows better than I do. I wish other people could find out how nice it is to know that they are not in control. They'd be a lot happier.

I kind of feel like this is all serious sounding. I didn't mean it to be, but it's okay to be serious. Especially when you need to be. I guess I'm just rambling now though...and tonight that's exactly what I feel like doing.

Tonight our little toy hockey league kicked up again. My friends and I had immeasurable counts of fun by competing our brains out and whacking each other with sticks. This will be an every-Sunday-night-thing for a couple of weeks, and I'm glad for that.
I'm learning more and more what a blessing it is to like being around people, and to be comfortable being around people.
I'm liking my outside classes that I'm taking this year. Not merely because I rock out in essay and skool in bio, but also because I genuinely enjoy chilling with people.
---I mean, please don't take away my "me time" after listening to me say that. But I'm finding a deep sense of value in both time alone and time with others. I think there's a healthy balance, and the older I get (ha.) the more important balancing social stuffs becomes. I still live under a rock, but soon somebody will poke a stick down my hole and I'll be forced to crawl out into the big wide bright sunny world.
But it's all good because I can manage transitions.

Another funny thing I've been observing lately is how dearly I hold fast to fictional characters and made up stories when under stress. I think a lot of people read books in order to escape to a new world, and I think I sailed under that bandwagon ship a long long time ago. I love fiction more and more because I'm finally learning how hearing stories about dragons being bested can inspire us to defeat our own dragons.

Music encourages me too. And it keeps coming back to me how odd it is that a song can become a sort of "life bookmark". There will forever be those songs that will instantly remind you and I of the very first time we latched on to the melody. I find it very nostalgic, and maybe even a little bit dangerous. I don't believe that dwelling on the past makes for a good future,, and yet I like the sad feeling that I get whenever I listen to an old favorite tune. But in the wise words of dear Sally Sparrow:  "Sad is happy for deep people."
Do you think I'm deep? Sometimes I feel like I'm just pretending to be. I'm probably only deep on the internet. Real life is always a completely different matter altogether, and deepness if very much more subjective.

It's getting later and later now. It's strange, but I can't help feeling that tonight is a little different...a little wonky...for some reason I keep thinking that I hear wind rushing out my window. That hardly ever happens at night, but I wish it did so more often.
Oh Wind. You and I are friends. Soulmates, even. 
But more on that some other time.

For tonight, I regret that I must bid adieu to all. Please have a good week, and come back to me with some witty remarkabolism. I sometimes appreciate those.

Kismint

1 Peter 1

1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,

To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, ² who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

Praise to God for a Living Hope

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
¹⁰ Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, ¹¹ trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of the Messiah and the glories that would follow. ¹² It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

Be Holy

¹³ Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. ¹⁴ As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. ¹⁵ But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; ¹⁶ for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”^[a]
17 Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. ¹⁸ For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, ¹⁹ but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. ²⁰ He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. ²¹ Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
²² Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.^{[b] 23} For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. ²⁴ For,

“All people are like grass,
    and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
²⁵     but the word of the Lord endures forever.”^[c]

And this is the word that was preached to you.

----

the girl in the sandbox, free from her cares

played without worry, the sun in her hair

with twigs and white flowers in braids twisted askew

and eyes sparkling with delight in her life now anew

a young thing, a spirit, now singing in peace

with a voice that spoke gently and by tenderness increased

the goodness and kindness, easily found

in the girl in the sandbox, whose loveliness abounds

a grey-haired queen, fair beyond measure
was the girl in the sandbox who's heart was a treasure
she touched many lives, was endeared by large and small
and even to final breath was most beautiful of all

though grimness and grief might stain a sore spot

in the heart stings of beloved, and to those whom she brought

great happiness and grace, warmness and love

and now these reign down with her smiles from above

----



One last smile to fade from reality
A whisper of love, a shattered tear
A tender voice, a fleeting moment
A saturation


If love were an ocean

Can you tell me why you have been so sad?
Because things we done, things we've had
They're different no

So many things we ought to say
In grief we fade and fall away
And find that

♫...So everybody put your best suit and dress on...♪

There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

Schism

Yesterday our neighbors had a big tree cut down in their backyard. We live tightly packed, neighbor to neighbor to neighbor. You'd think we'd get to known one another that way. But that's not how it works and there's a silly bit of me that absorbs a sort of comfort from the mystery of it all. I used to spend long sunlit hours outside in my little playact paradise. 

It's a small space; but I was small too. In adult eyes it's nothing but a swimming pool and stucco. But to me, to a remarkable child such as I, it was a morphed into a world of exotics. 

The constant hum-buzzing of air conditioning units soothed me like a purring cat, and you will find me still lying in the grass patches staring up into the blueness. It's always blue. Except on the really special days when banks and blankets of cloud grace the sky for a moment or two. 

These moments hardly last, and so I've found the blue very dependable. When you're back there you feel so secluded, but in a good way. Time slows down just a little bit, and suddenly you have nothing to do with the rest of planet earth. This is an escape---a secret garden---none to beautiful, but lovely in secret ways. 

 

I began this post by talking about a tree. Today I realized what it is to have something you took for granted stripped away. The tree was prominent, and now that it's gone I feel like my miniaturized world has a schism. Like the gap after you've lost a tooth. 

It made me think.

It made me wonder about other gaps in life.