Whovian Handguide

Hail, friends who read about my life and it's content. How fareth?

It's the fourth of September, and I've got Of June on a grooveshark playlist, melodizing with chit chat of my keyboard. I hope you failed to see the irony.

So let's talk about Doctor Who.
I watch Doctor Who. My friends watch Doctor Who. My enemies watch Doctor Who (wat?). Do you judge us? You probably should. We deserve no better.
You see, when one becomes a Whovian, they sort of...block all of the normal world out.

via pinterest

In all sincerity, I apologize for this in advance, as it can get quite irritating when trying to converse with a Whovian in mid-season. Because of this, it is perfectly normal to expect your non-fandomalized-friends to groan (and possibly throw things) when you happily exclaim to them that you have begun to watch BBC. [We're not just limiting things to Doctor Who here] But that's okay, because non-fandomalized-friends aren't your real friends anymore. Now that you've become part of a fandom (THE fandom) yourself, the only friends you've got are the billions of introverts who spend their weekends as blanket burritos in front of their NetFlix. They are the ones who rule Tumblr with an iron fist. 

If you do however, manage to escape the clutches of Whovian Fandomism, I can do nothing but congratulate you. You may now move on with your life, know that you are ONE OF THE [FEW] EXCEPTIONS. It is likely now, that you will become one of those weird and alienesque human beings who actually accomplish things with their life and are commemorated in history books for their great achievements. Someday, I'm sure we'll all appreciate what you'll go on to do for mankind.

However, until then, I have a warnings.
When, on the rare occasion that you meet a Whovian logged out of their natural habitat (the Internet), avoid mentioning certain topics AT ALL TIMES. This list does not cover every topic that you need to be aware of, so no matter what, be tactful and proceed with caution when speaking to a Whovian.

Police boxes
Van Gogh
David's hair (this one especially. just never ever ever mention anything about anyone named david when it has to do with his hair.)
Roses
Beaches
Roses on beaches
Fezes
Bow ties
Angels (the weeping ones)
(etc etc etc etc etc)

If you have a slip of the tongue and you are unfortunate enough to speak of one of these things that have been stated in the above, don't panic. Your panic may be mistaken for you fangirling over whatever you have said. If a Whovian finds a fellow-fan person, they will become over-aggressive in extreme euphoria over finding one of their own (they dwell in herds).
Instead, remain calm, and after several minutes, (in best case scenario) the Whovian will begin to be able to form coherent sentences.

It is important to remember that Whovians (and other fandomers) are sensitive, especially when it comes to fictional characters. If, in unfortunate event, you disagree their OTPs, the only way that you'll ever live to tell the tale is by apologizing profusely and flinging boatloads of chocolate bars in their general direction.

I hope this post was informational to you. 
Whovains and other Fandom-associated people can make great companions, and I strongly urge you to reconsider the way you doubtless look down your nose at them because of the way they are often found, incarcerated in their homes with their eyeballs glued to screens.