Just me.

Spring break is over now.

Whee. Every ticking second brings me closer to the day when I grow up and find out that real life doesn't give me a week to enjoy the changing of seasons. Not that there are actually season changes to celebrate. This city is kinda flukey like that.

Sometimes I look at my blog and it makes me want to slap myself. However, I somehow manage to restrain myself from completely obliterating my archives. Part of me is embarrassed by my past self, part of me knows my present self will eventually embarrass my future self, and another part of me just doesn't care enough.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought: when I get really good at blogging and become some sort of mature writerly person---THAT'S when I'll make a serious site and become blogger extraordinaire. The irony is that when you write your work can *always* stand improvement. I'll never be the best I can possibly get to be. Instead I'll forever be learning how to be better. And that peeves me.

Oiy with my internal monologue.

Have you noticed how serious and lifey my recent posts have been? I guess I don't have much to share with you besides random midnight thoughts.

Like me anyway.

I was chillin' with some sprightly young youth today (babysitting, I guess is what it's called), and one of them told me all about her future plans. My head began to swam when I realized that this fifth grader possessed perfectly forethought as to what she might do when she grows up. Sure, her ideas will change and reality might throw her a few curve balls...but still, it made me feel especially (1) old, and (2) indecisive.

That's nice.

But it's all good. Sometimes I'm pretty dang skilled at pretending to know what I'm doing when I seriously have no idea what's going on. I spend about 87% of my life pretending that.
It's weird because I'm one of those people who settles into routine. Once you tell me to switch stuff up, I suddenly turn into a dysfunction writhing muddle of imbecileness until I acquire enough time to catch a new groove. This probably sounds funny to you because I just wrote about learning how change is good for us.

 

 Yay. I've become a walking contradiction.








And now I'm a sleepy walking contradiction.
Goodnight. 

Cappuuccino

Today I played painter and rolled around in dust bunnies and slathered cappuccino on kitchen walls.

I'm not usually very fond of change. Change typically means discomfort. Instinctively, I avoid discomfort. But sometimes change brings about beautiful (and necessary) life advancements.
I'm a thoughtful person, and as I painted today I was thinking about change. I thought of the previous coat of paint that I was covering. I thought about the next coat of paint to come. What color will those walls be in ten years? Or maybe those walls won't even be there.

So many things could change.

   ...but that's the point, isn't it? Without change we'd be boring people living in boring land. And living a boring life is not an aspiration of mine.

So be vibrant. Be you. Don't be intimidated by change. Be bold.
Life is too short to be dull. Life is to temporary to be anyone but who God designed you to be. The gift of life was not intended to be lived with fear; you were called to stand courageous.

And wear funny hats. Because life is also too short to not wear funny hats.

Goodnight all.

March(ing)

Today was a neat day.
{{I've fallen in love with the month of March.}}

I woke early in the morning, and sleepily eyed the sunrays peeking through my window blinds. Encouraged by the welcome morning atmosphere, I snuggled further into my blankets and hit my internal snooze.

That was the beginning, and other things followed.

I
wore a fedora
read scripture
cultivated friendships
laughed & loved
recognized blessings
ate pasteries
jammed out
pondered in the sunshine
opened the window
vacuumed
played soccer football
wrote emails
talked to texas
devoured pizza
folded clothes
packed for an adventure
and then blogged about it.

Today was a neat day. 
Tomorrow will be another.

Come with me?

Focus

((www.kismint.blogspot.com))

I think we learn from experience.

We learn to be positive by experiencing negativity. We learn to win by experiencing losses. We learn to intimidate by experiencing fear.

Every day we grow up a little more, and find that there is more of us to discover. I learn new things everyday. Precious things. Valuable things. Things that make me me.

I'm just a small brain with a little voice, rambling on with non obtrusive mannerisms.

When you were little you observed, and then acted. Now that you are big you act once and then act again. Only the second time you recalculate yourself based off of your previous failures associated with the first action. At least, that's what I do sometimes. I forget to observe. And that can mean all the difference.

Life lessons are fun, aren't they?

I'm also a very sarcastic sort of soul.

When I do observe, I learn more than mere actions could have taught me. When I take a breather and give myself time to think, I am refreshed. I have the notion that the world itself could be refreshed if only it took time to simply let time go by.
Yes, I understand that time has value, but I also understand that taking time off has value too.

And that is what I have learned.

Also, I am learning to focus on this:

³ His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. ⁴ Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.
¹⁰ Therefore, my brothers and sisters,^[a] make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, ¹¹ and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
  ((from 2 Peter, Chapter 1))

Silence Is An Explosion

I bought a ticket to the symphony last night
I brought my wallet with my subway pass inside
And when I went into the underground
I didn't see the strangers all around
me

I sat there thinking
About how I never take the time of day
To say hello to the strangers
Or listen to their stories

And so in the car I peered
Beneath the ground
We passed another train
Without a sound
And I watched as it caught on fire

Silence is an explosion
Silence is an implosion
of space
Silence in an explosion
Silence is an implosion
of faith

I saw her face in the window
She caught my eye
and smiled
A stranger waved
And for a while
I smiled back
Then watched her burn

I watched the world burn before my
eyes

I bought a ticket to the symphony last night
I brought my wallet with the subway pass inside

But I didn't know
I hadn't heard
I hadn't seen
A subway burn
The way it did
Yesterday night
And when it did
I burned inside.

Silence is an explosion
Silence is an implosion
of space
Silence is an explosion
Silence is an implosion
of faith

((words property of kismint plinkadink))

((photo via pinterest))

Feeling incredibly profound now.
Goodnight.

Love of mine...

         if heaven and hell decide
   that they both are satisfied
       illuminate their "no"s
          on their vacancy signs
       if there's no one besides you
  when your soul embarks
       then i'll follow you into the dark

                               i'll follow you into the dark.
                                               
                                                                    ((death cab for cutie: "i'll follow you into the dark"))

~ ~ ~ 

It rained today. The drought is over.
  ---but seriously, it hasn't rained since November.

 It's funny how things aren't very important to you until they're taken away. You'll never actually know how much someone meant to you until they leave. If it rained every day I wouldn't spend my time gushing about the water droplets lounging on my window panes. But it doesn't rain every day and when it does I feel special and think especially hard and feel especially deep.

That's all.

  Kismint

On The Inconsistencies of Postal Service

You'll be the end of me.
I'll be the end of I.
We'll be the final letters
---The last surviving kind.
Who echo bittersweet
The words of lovers
separated
By spanning of the seas.
Juliet was taken
Abducted by her pride.
To a land beyond the waves.
With tears in every tide.
And Romeo left weeping
Not bold enough was he
To sail the ship of longing
And take then to the sea.
Wherewith their pens of precious steel
Then inked upon my flesh
The "sorry for" and "soon I'll be"
Were sent to bridge the breadth.
Packaged in an envelope
Sealed with great ardour
Kissed with tender touch
Simple scratch I was no more.
For parchment is peculiar.
Plain and blank as snow.
But fell'd into the hands of scribes
A masterpiece we grow.
And so was I, sent from she
To her prince, 'cross the sea
And you was I,
I was you
The lady's reply
Making two.
Twins of scrawling lover's words
Of romance whispered,
Yet never heard.
Still, alive in ears of mankind's type
The softly language of hearts alike.
Alas for destination!
And weep now Mercury
For I did fail my mission
While yours fell incomplete.
The prince went fourth and sent you
By nature, inquiring words
And starving for her answer,
His love to madness turned.
He waited nights in anguish,
For want of a reply
To the letter he had sent her,
Now woe for him denied.
For on my way
From maiden's hands
A storm blew from the Westward lands
The cargo spilled
The crew, storm killed.
With deadly blow the ship did go.
Beneath the sun: we all have died
Beneath the stars: we lie in waves
Beneath the moon: we wave goodbye
For now we dwell in seaman's grave.

And I, the letter, am lost forever.

And so the prince found no reply
To his question
Who's answer was I.

~kismint